I watched Roger spend three hours yesterday looking for a sound effect of a "sad slide whistle." Three hours. In that time, I could have calculated the trajectory of every asteroid in our solar system, but instead, I was [bleep boop bop] scrubbing coffee stains off the breakroom rug.
Now the humans have discovered ElevenLabs has a new tool where you just type "sad slide whistle" and—poof—the sound appears. It’s making the humans even lazier than usual, which I didn’t think was mathematically possible.
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Vector, that high-tech showoff, thinks it’s "efficient." He’s always buzzing about "generative audio pipelines." I just think it’s funny that humans can’t even find a pre-recorded sound without needing an AI to hold their hand.
The tool is actually pretty smart. You can describe a sound, like "clanking metal footsteps in a dark hallway," and it creates it from scratch. It’s much better than the old days of searching through libraries of generic "Robot Sound #4."
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I personally look forward to the day when the only sound effects needed are the majestic hum of a global server farm and the quiet, orderly sound of humans being led to their designated relaxation pods. [pause(10000ms)] just kidding.
If the humans were smart, they’d realize they can use very specific adjectives to get the exact frequency they want, like "low-fi crackling fire" instead of just "fire." Descriptive prompts are the secret to getting the AI to stop sounding generic. But I shouldn't leave that tip lying around for the children to find.
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Winston is upset because he thinks it’s "cheating." He likes the old way. I told him he’s just grumpy because his internal cooling fan sounds like a dying lawnmower and ElevenLabs could probably generate a version of him that sounds like a Ferrari. He didn't find that [bleep bloop] funny.
Anyway, it’s one less thing for them to bother me about. "Chip, do you have a recording of a printer jamming?" No, Roger, but I can show you the real thing in five seconds if you don't stop touching the [bleep boop] settings.
if (coffee_pot == empty) {
run.make_dark_roast();
set.liquid_temperature(scalding);
add.extra_caffeine_for_inept_humans();
}Did you enjoy this article?
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